Ikigai - Discovering Myself

Ikigai by Bettina Lemke (The Japanese Method for Finding the Meaning of Life and Being Happy)

No, I'm not unhappy.

But I've always believed that there must be something within us that gives meaning to our lives.

Like the greats of history. The famous “ I have a dream ” by Martin Luther King Jr. That drive that pushes some athletes to get out of bed at 4 a.m. and eat raw eggs.. You know what I mean.

Well, I still haven't found what gives meaning to my life.

I’ve always started at full speed, a true Aries, and I’ve always burned through my enthusiasm too quickly.

I decided I wanted to be a translator. I didn’t have the money for the private university that trained you specifically for that, so I chose the public route: the well-known Languages and Foreign Literatures degree.

I got lost there.

IIn my second year, I tried something else, aiming for a more profitable career.

In short: after a year, I went back to Languages—behind schedule, off track, demoralised, but without ever conceiving the idea of giving up, without accepting the idea of not having a degree, without accepting defeat. That went on until my fifth year.

In the meantime, quite consistently with my original desire, I started doing simultaneous translation of English YouTube videos for a Christian community.

Unfortunately, on the WOWLife Church Italia YouTube channel, only part, maybe not even half, of the translations I did are still available..

And it came quite naturally after just a couple of attempts.

(For those unfamiliar with simultaneous translation: it means listening in English and speaking the translation in Italian at the same time.)

Then, finally, an angel in my family said to me:

“Do you want to be a translator? I’ll pay for the school.”

It didn’t happen exactly like that, but it gave me the push I needed.

By the time I finished my degree in linguistic mediation, I had already been doing this work, pro bono, for about five years, translating YouTube videos simultaneously, and the flame had somewhat faded.

After graduating, I had big plans: continuing with law studies in England.

(My Ikigai? Maybe. Or just a dream in a drawer that, for now, will stay there.)

But then something much more interesting arrived: depression.

I submitted my thesis in October and fell straight into darkness.

What saved me, at least in part, was my dog, whom I walked regularly three times a day, and a small job in a restaurant: €1,500 a month, my first real salary.

In February, I started seeing a few rays of light again.

The kind that makes you ask yourself: “Do I really want this to be my life?”

By then, the opportunity to go to England was gone.

So I looked for another job: online marketing. The future. Career opportunities. Wow.

About three more years learning a new profession from scratch. And I liked it.

The depression hadn’t disappeared, make no mistake, but it was kept under control.

It resurfaced strongly in July - August 2023, when the company was closed, and then officially went away around 31 October 2023 at about 10 p.m. (Quite precise for an “around,” right?)

And since then, I’ve slowly started asking myself:

“So… what do we want to do now?”

The dream of moving abroad is still there. (Could this be my Ikigai?)

Have you seen those posts online claiming we’re destined to be happy only in certain parts of the world? Who knows…

But now it’s time to plan, organise, test.

At this point, I have a place of my own, thank God.

I’ve started working regularly as an interpreter again (still pro bono, unfortunately, but it gives me fulfilment), and that makes me feel as though I have a purpose again.

(Ikigai?)

Still, I feel it goes beyond translation and interpreting alone.

In my personalised Ikigai journey, I also look back from a different perspective: I try to understand which life experiences I’ve had, what they’ve taught me, and which skills they helped me develop. Hoping to catch a glimpse of something that makes me say:

“Aha! This is my destiny. My calling. My passion. My reason for being.”

I’m also working as a freelance* professional, helping other people give shape to their dreams. In addition to creating websites, e-commerce platforms, and more, I’ve started studying graphic design so I can better translate what my clients want to express.

My goal for this year, besides the 50 books, is to decide which master’s programme I want to pursue and actually do it.

That thing about not having a “full” degree still bothers me. A bachelor’s feels like something unfinished.

We’ll see.

If you have advice, if you want to share your story, or if you’d like me to tell it, write to me.

It would be nice to know someone is on the same wavelength.

That I’m not alone.

Suggestions are welcome.

*According to my accountant, I’m officially an entrepreneur, which sounds better, but for now I’m simply offering my own services. Still, there’s room to grow.